How to keep the spark alive
In the final week of Before Baby, Dr Terri Foran, Sexual Health Physician, shares some ideas on how to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship.
Listen to the quick podcast here, or read on below.
Every one of us are different, so here are a few options which might appeal to you and your partner- but then again might not. Feel free to add to the list yourself and don’t forget to share them with your partner!
Maybe you two have been together for a while, or maybe the whole baby-planning thing has put some stress on the finances so going out together may have slipped off the agenda. Sharing some great food and conversation will take you back to the early days when your relationship was new. Try and schedule these times as often as you can and if you have other kids- perhaps find a babysitter you can trust or organise a shared arrangement with friends.
If cost is an issue, you can create the same experience at home. Dress up, dim the lights, light some candles, and share the cooking. After that maybe a shower together and a massage - but no pressure - concentrate on making each other feel good along the way rather than focusing solely on the end point.
Try to reconnect with the idea that intimacy brings pleasure to both you and your partner-because you want to and not because you have to. And intimacy is more than the act of sex – kissing is so important. Kissing doesn’t just feel good, it also releases oxytocin and dopamine, the hormones that make you feel affection and excitement. Kissing also releases serotonin, another feel-good chemical, and lowers cortisol levels so you feel more relaxed and less stressed.
Spend some quality time exploring each other’s bodies with sensual touching. Take turns stroking, kissing, and teasing your partner. Then there are the extras, and this is where personal taste really comes in:
- Perhaps a new sex toy or a sexy board game might appeal
- What about a naked movie night in bed? Turn all the lights off, choose a film (maybe something that turns you both on)
- Or take turns reading erotic literature to each other
The important thing is to have fun and to surprise each other every now and then.
- It’s important for the sake of the relationship, as well as getting pregnant, that you continue to have sex but also that you continue to enjoy it
- It’s a great way to bond with our partner, share our most intimate thoughts and feelings and feel good about each other
- With any luck at all this will last long past the positive pregnancy test
- Take care and most of all have fun!