Why I became a Sperm Donor | Melbourne IVF

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Why I became a Sperm Donor

As you travel along life’s highway, there are certain milestones that you expect to hit. First day at school, the move to high school, first job, marriage and then children.  It is generally the first question that people will ask when they find out that you have recently married, when are you are going to have children?  I know for my wife and I, we knew we would one day have children, but we hadn’t put into a formalise plan.

But no one ever tells you about any issues that people have conceiving, everyone including you thinks it will just happen. You have the sex education talk at school, you know the process it all seems pretty straightforward. 

My wife and I had our first child two years before my sister in law got married. I will always remember the day as all first time dads do, as a mixture of the ultimate high and the fear of the unknown. You suddenly become responsible for this little person, who needs you to do everything.  When we became pregnant with our second child, my sister in law and her husband had been trying to conceive for 8 months. You could see the stress that it puts on a relationship, because as I said before it is just supposed to happen. Like most couples in this situation everyone is full of great advice, stopping thinking about just have sex for fun, it will happen when it is meant to happen and check your temperature for the best time to conceive.

When it's time to seek fertility help

After 12 months my sister-in-law and her husband decided to have the tests to see if there were any issues with either’s fertility. It turned out that the husband was infertile, and would not be able to father a child of his own. This put a lot of pressure on their marriage, which I am happy to say, is still going strong.

I was then as part of this family thrown into a world I knew nothing about, IVF and all that comes with it. The decision that my sister-in-law and husband now faced was which avenue take, they chose after much soul searching to use donor sperm. 

Deciding to become a Sperm Donor

When my sister-in-law and her husband were told that they would need to use donor sperm to start their family, my wife and I started considering the process of sperm donation. Together, we made the decision that I would become a sperm donor, realising that the whole world of conceiving children can take many forms. We made this decision because we had been through the so called normal process of having children, and the joy it had brought us. We had also seen what the concept of not being to have children does to people, when that is the one thing that they want to happen in their lives.  We both thought that if we can assist in our small way to help other families to become parents, then it is something we should do. 

The question that springs to mind most is why do this? For my wife and I it was pretty simple, we can help so we did. We didn’t do it for any other reason than to give some else the experience we have had and continue to have with children. We didn’t do it to feel self-important, or for an ego boost.  The chances are that we may never meet the parents or their children; we will never hear the thank you.  The thought that somewhere out there is a loving family enjoying all that life has to bring; that we had a small part in creating is enough for us

One day we will tell our children, about this process.  We will also be able to hopefully answer questions that my niece and nephew may have, such as why would someone choose to be donor. Our wish is that someday the families that we helped will tell their children about their conception. If we get to meet down the track, then that will be fantastic but we don’t need that, I am very happy with my mental pictures that I have created over the years.

My wish is that your experience of the process is as great as mine was and continues to be, good luck with all that life throws and trust the pluses certainly outweigh the minuses.

If you're considering becoming a Sperm Donor or want to know more about using a Donor Sperm you can talk with our Community Liaison Administrator by calling 1800 111 483.

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