Each month a couple attempting to get pregnant naturally go through a range of emotions, which may include frustration, anger and sadness when the woman's period arrives. About 50 per cent of couples will achieve a pregnancy in six months and a further 30 per cent will reach their goal in the next six months, leaving about 20 per cent of couples not pregnant at this stage.

Infertility is defined as a couple not conceiving after 12 months of regular unprotected sexual intercourse. After about six months of trying to conceive most couples start to look for answers or consider consulting a doctor. If the couple know of factors that may be preventing pregnancy, such as a history of pelvic infection, irregular cycles, increased age or ejaculatory disorders, they should speak to their General Practitioner (GP) before this time has elapsed.

If the investigations undertaken by the GP are within the normal range, and no other factors are present that concern the doctor (such as female age), it may be suggested that the couple continue trying for a few more months before returning for further investigations. If the couple have been trying to conceive for over a year and particularly if other factors such as advancing age (>34 years) are present, a referral should be made to a Gynaecologist, Andrologist or Infertility Specialist.

During this time, family friends and strangers may all appear to be achieving pregnancies without any particular effort and expecting you to share their excitement. There may be hints and jokes about the absence of children in your relationship that become a little harder to cope with as time passes. Feeling angry, depressed and isolated is quite normal while you are in this situation. Sometimes lovemaking becomes difficult and regimented and couples often find that their relationship becomes quite strained as each person tries to cope in his or her own way.

It is important to realise during this time you are not alone. Other couples are experiencing the same situation and there are ways to cope with what is happening in your life. Our free Counselling Service is open to anyone, and our counsellors can help with stress management, listen sympathetically or suggest support organisations, all measures which can help you take back control of your life.

The cause of infertility may be attributed to "female factors" (tubal disease, ovulatory disorder, endometriosis) in appoximately 40% of cases, to sperm problems in another 40% of cases, and be "unexplained" in 15-20% of cases. In about one third of couples with infertility, there will be more than one problem present. When facing infertility, dwelling on causes often leads to blame and guilt, taking away some of the strength a couple needs to face their situation together. Although it is important to know the factors that are impeding a couple's goal of their own child, it is also important for them to take positive action together, by exploring options and forms of treatment that are available to them.